MJWN Est. 1998

Blame It On B&Q

Once upon a time there was a big warehouse called B&Q. One day the managers decided they needed more employees so in their infinite wisdom, they placed advertisements. Several people replied and were asked to attend interviews which were very exciting for them. They duly turned up for their appointments and the managers of this magical store had lots of surprises for them. What were they, I hear you ask?

Well, the managers had decided that the lucky candidates would be asked to dance…

What music to choose, it was a hard decision. ‘Stairway to Heaven’ by Led Zeppelin perhaps…as it would be heaven to work for this company. Maybe ‘Bob the Builder’? No…’Blame It On The Boogie’ by The Jacksons. What an excellent choice!

The poor candidates for the job of van driver had to try to emulate our hero. Worst was to come. The managers then decided to ask our poor bewildered candidates to pull faces as they took photographs. Several of the applicants were embarrassed and humiliated. I can understand that they felt silly. It’s not something you expect from a major retailer. B&Q said it was supposed to relax the candidates, but how can you relax when asked to do something as bizarre as this?

Many years ago I worked for B&Q. At my interview I was lucky, I only had to do a Maths and English test, but anyone who knows me, would know I would have preferred to dance to Michael rather than do the above. The thing is though…would I have danced in front of strangers in the hope of getting a job? The answer is no.

(Although… I seem to remember standing on stage at the Hammersmith Apollo singing ‘Heal the World’, but that’s another story).

We used to have to do silly things in the mornings, they called it the ‘energizer’ and it was supposed to make us happy and relaxed. It didn’t, and I know I felt a bit of an idiot especially with customers watching.

B&Q, please take note, you have excellent taste in music as Michael’s music is played quite often in your stores and we applaud that, but your people skills perhaps need to looked at again…

Source: Gail Milton, Telegraph & MJWN

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